A tuxedo-clad waiter pours champagne from a magnum bottle into my slender crystal glass. As I thank him, another waiter, also in a tuxedo, approaches me with a gigantic tray of French macarons. The account manager who invited me to this champagne party a few hours ago taps me on the forearm, “I just asked, the macarons are not vegan. I’ll be right back with vegan snacks,” and darts away into the cacophony of talking and laughing people clinking their crystal glasses in a toast. I am pampered and flattered. On this first day of InCosmetics 2019 in Paris, I belong in this glamorous world of cosmetics.
Little do I know that in just a few years, a question will begin to haunt me: Can I still be part of this unsustainable industry? As a cosmetic scientist passionate about harnessing the power of nature, I have always been driven by a desire to create products that nurture and beautify. But as time goes on, I will become increasingly aware of the environmental impact of the trade I love.
As a little girl, on sunny summer days, I would pick chamomile flowers and dry them. Even now, the scent of dried chamomile transports me back—I close my eyes and hear the lapwing’s cry, and feel the sun’s warmth on my face. Nature holds my most cherished childhood memories: lying on my belly sniffing the chamomile, or climbing high into a tree, my dress forever marked with green stains.
Exactly 13 years after I became a mother, 6 February 2023, I put a kettle on to make a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil, I opened the browser on my phone and saw an article in the Libelle. My mother used to subscribe to this women’s weekly magazine, and I would snatch it from the mailbox to read the Jan Jans en de Kinderen comic strip in the back, but otherwise, I was never interested in this magazine. And yet, I click on this article, which is an interview with an ordinary woman. A mother, like me. Actually, I could be her. But I am not because she is explaining in an interview how she went to her first climate demonstration. She is telling the world how she occupied the tunnel in The Hague in a climate protest, while I was occupied with finding excuses.
My inner turmoil made me forget where I was or what I was doing, so I jolt when the lid of my kettle shoots off with a blast. The same thing has happened inside me; the cork is out of the bottle.
Passion and Profession
InCosmetics is the highlight of the year for cosmetic professionals such as suppliers and producers. It is the largest trade show full of exuberant stands that entice me, as a budding cosmetic scientist, to learn about the many new ingredients and feel the new textures. In 2019, I felt for the first time that my passion and obsession for developing natural care products was no longer a hobby but had become my profession.
For years, gatherings of cosmetic professionals have made a deep impression on me. They expanded my palette of possibilities and ingredients and inspired me to conceive hundreds of formulations. With the best ingredients nature has to offer, I created products that literally made users feel better in their skin. Combining clinically proven active botanical extracts with organic oils and natural emulsifiers that gave a luxurious skin feel to the many creams and lotions was not only my daytime work. I often woke up at night with an idea of how ingredients could be combined to make irritated and sensitive skin supple and beautiful. Then I would quickly put on a bathrobe and sneak to my office to quickly capture the ideas before the night took them away again.
The Chip and Dale Forest
My grandfather was my hero. He taught me to swim, even though I later learned he couldn’t swim himself. He taught me to roll cigarettes (sorry mom!) and play Patience on rainy days. And in the seat on the back of his bike, I got to know The Hague. While his legs propelled us forward, we talked a mile a minute. He pointed out the beautiful plume tails along and over the paths, and I followed the squirrels with my gaze as they shot into the trees of the Chip and Dale Forest.
It is March 2023, a cold but clear day. As I walk with many others towards our meeting point, I recognize my surroundings: it is the Chip and Dale Forest, for most people known as The Hague Forest. I hadn’t seen this place since I was a child; my grandfather passed away decades ago. The shape and trees were recognizable, but the absence of animal life was stark, except for the police horses. On their backs are police officers with their eyes piercing ours, and I wonder what my grandfather’s opinion would be about what I am about to do. Soon, I will walk onto the road with thousands of people, with the goal of blocking the tunnel. We are pointing out to our government to keep its agreements that it has failed to keep year after year. So that later I won’t have to row through The Hague Forest with my grandchild.
A few tense moments later, we are on Utrechtsestraat blocking the road. My buddy checks in with me, like we discussed beforehand. She mentions my clenched jaw and rigid posture and asks me if I feel as stressed as I look. I have to check in with my body, as I wasn’t feeling it, but agree with her: I feel adrenaline flooding my body and notice her stress signals as well. We decide to dance it out of our systems, moving on the beats of the Rebel Drumband.
We are surrounded by thousands of activists, two water cannons, and armed police with drawn batons. I am determined not to let them see that it scares me. Because the fear I feel for the near future, and that of my children, is so much bigger than the fear of a water cannon or baton ever could be.
Activists take turns taking the microphone and share what keeps them awake at night. There is singing, there is dancing. Then a person with the pseudonym ‘Boktor’ takes the microphone and shares their poem.
“I want to say ’everything is fine,’ but the more I pretend, the more it feels like I’m bleeding out inside…”
From that day forward, a fire is lit within me. I devour information, seek like-minded individuals, and immerse myself in the world of sustainability advocacy. But the climate crisis is so immense, I know I can’t fix it alone. Preparing vegan meals for my family isn’t enough. The world is unraveling, and I am powerless.
“I feel so angry and so powerless because around me, I see very little changing - we consume more, fly more, eat more meat, use more plastic, spend more on stuff that doesn’t make us happy, and I participate in it myself.”
Fast-forward to March 2024. I’m driving with my colleague in my electric car to Paris, excited to attend InCosmetics 2024, especially because this year’s theme is sustainability. It’s being held again in Paris, the place where I first felt like a true cosmetics professional.
After my first appointment, I started my quest: finding businesses that are genuinely seeking and implementing solutions to social issues. As I wander the aisles, the cacophony of green buzzwords plastered everywhere makes my head spin. I spotted “biodegradable!” on a booth wall, where they also promote microplastic polymers. Massive letters proclaiming “We care about sustainability!" catch my eye, but when I step into the stand and ask, “How do you care? What do you DO?” I’m met with stammering responses.
The Crossroads
As I stand here, surrounded by the hollow sustainability claims, my mind drifts back to my early days in the cosmetics business. A decade ago, fueled by a love for natural beauty and a touch of naivety, I launched a home-based webshop brimming with products adorned with promises of natural goodness. One particular brand, boasting a name that could only mean ethical and natural, quickly became a bestseller. Little did I know, my enthusiasm would be met with a harsh reality.
My cosmetology studies unveiled a truth hidden beneath the appealing label. The products were a mix of synthetics that contradicted any natural certification. Research even showed it could harm water life. I felt duped, naive, and misled. This discovery shattered my illusions and ignited a burning desire to expose the rampant deception plaguing the beauty business – a phenomenon known as greenwashing.
Now, standing in the middle of this grand trade show, I am confronted with the industry’s lack of transparency. The boasting and greenwashing that surround me only fuel my anger and frustration. I can no longer ignore the cognitive dissonance that has been simmering beneath the surface for years. I love this domain, the art, and science of formulating, the magic of coaxing nature’s gifts into luxurious textures and scents. But at what cost?
“I feel so angry and so powerless because around me, I see very little changing - we consume more, fly more, eat more meat, use more plastic, spend more on stuff that doesn’t make us happy, and I participate in it myself”
And I participate in it myself. Am I naively enabling the multi-crises that are our reality by my very participation? For all my principles, was my work just greasing up the flywheel of climate change? Am I contributing to a sustainable future or just soothing my conscience with comfortable actions and joining climate actions? Can I still be part of this unsustainable sector?
I dream of a future where I can share my love for nature with my grandchild, just as my grandfather did with me. I want to hold a tiny hand and walk through a thriving forest. Together, we point out the animals we see. We will pause to search for a front door for the gnome that must live here. I want my grandchild to hear the lapwing in the distance. But will there even be a lapwing?
There I was, standing frozen at a crossroad in the middle of the bustling trade show. People from all corners of the world passed me by, a kaleidoscope of suits, dresses, and jeans. Scents of perfumes and aftershaves mingled in the air. Lost in my inner debate, I barely noticed the annoyed sighs of people moving around me.
I see the signs above the lanes of this trade floor. One of them says ‘EXIT’. Perhaps it is time for me to exit this industry entirely. Do I exit?
I only have one life. If I want to make the greatest positive impact, this may be the turning point where I have to choose an entirely new direction, as bitter as it is to give up my beloved profession.
Then I see a sign, ‘Sustainability corner’. If I can help transform this billion-dollar market from consumption-driven to truly sustainable and regenerative, the impact could be enormous.
A shimmer of hope stirs in me. Hope for my career, but especially hope for the field I have such a complex relationship with.
It’s a difficult but essential choice I face…
“I cannot pretend it doesn’t all exist for this planet is my home my only home and as long as my home is on fire I will try to extinguish the flames and I hope you’ll join me”
The last words echo in my head. Join me… Join me…
Can we do this together? Perhaps I don’t need to fix climate change myself. I just need to be part of the solution. If we all step away from being part of the problem and become part of the solution, we can fix this together. It is time to find the other parts of the solution, so I can breathe again.
I started moving. At a brisk pace, I tread back to aisle A and started over. Now I was off to find like-minded people and I wouldn’t get distracted. I even walked past that formulation spatula over there. If you are a formulation nerd like me, you know how determined I was passing up on that treat!
“But then for a brief moment the sun shines again
Then I have my people around me
Who also want to fight
For clean water in our rivers
For mighty trees
And their inhabitants
For themselves and for everything they love”
On that trade floor in the city of lights, I find them: the innovators, activists, and outliers who dare to make uncomfortable choices. Businesses tackling the waste crisis, methane emissions, deforestation, and biodiversity loss. Start-ups creating sustainable alternatives and pioneering new frontiers in the trade. In their determined faces and innovative solutions, I see a reflection of my journey – from doubt to determination, from despair to hope.
Relief floods me. My fellow Green Cosmetics Revolutionists will join me in this transition. Together, we will work to transform the cosmetics sector from the inside out. We will champion transparency, sustainability, and ethical practices at every level, from ingredient sourcing to packaging design. We will educate the beauty business on how to step out of the business-as-usual and transition towards sustainable development. And we will never stop pushing for progress, no matter how difficult the road ahead may be.
So, can I still be part of this unsustainable industry?
The answer is yes – but only if I am part of the solution. Only if I use my knowledge, my skills, and my passion to help steer this sector towards a more sustainable, more responsible future. It won’t be easy, but it is worth it. This is bigger than formulations and product launches – this is a fight for the very future of our planet, for the generations to come. I will do better. We will do better. Because we need to do better.
